Extreme Mother's Day Gift Ideas

It's almost that time again—that auspicious spring day when we stop making jokes about other people's moms and honor our own. Since Anna Jarvis immortalized the celebration of mothers in 1908, the second Sunday in May has been a day of reflection and commemoration of those who labored to bring us into the world.

Jarvis herself reportedly became disappointed with the consumerist direction of her new holiday a few years after its inception. It's easy to be cynical about anything that enjoys its greatest visibility from holiday industry ads. ("Buy your mother the love she deserves this May 11th! Get the $400 Deluxe Package if you even care about her at all!") But Mother's Day generally gets a pass even among the cynical, since the act of giving something to your mother asks little and yields much.

As a cultural observer, I thought it prudent to provide a list of historical mothers, in order of objective quality.

BEST MOMS EVER
1. My mom.
2. Your mom.
3. Everyone else's mom.

Just kidding. But my mom is my one guaranteed reader, so it's in my interest to cater to my most consistently loyal demographic. There you go, mom—easiest Mother's Day gift ever.

...so are all the mothers gone? OK, cool, we can speak freely. We've got a few short days to go, and we've got stuff to buy! Here are some gift ideas for mom.

Probiotic Chocolate
So beautiful. Who needs flowers?

Your mom probably loves chocolate. Simply Googling "Women love chocolate" will call forth surveys, testimonials, and diatribes about the superiority of chocolate to nearly everything else—specifically men.

But your mom ALSO loves having great digestion. This is something she's likely less vocal and/or openly passionate about. Sensing this means that you're an attentive, thoughtful child. If your mom is older than you, and the odds are good that she is, digestive problems may be a source of increasing frustration. Probiotics—beneficial gut bacteria that assist with digestion—often help. Most people know that yogurt contains "healthy bacteria," but an increasing array of foods are being fortified with probiotic content. Chocolate is one of the latest. Why not please your mom's sweet tooth and GI tract at the same time?

In fact, now that we're on the subject, why not just give her some great chocolate and a potent, standalone probiotic? A dedicated probiotic supplement will be many times more powerful than any infused product, and just as natural. Forget the gag gift and get a superior version of both components. Any Foods For Living staffer would be happy to walk you through finding a perfect probiotic and/or chocolate for the moms in your life.

An Implausible Pastry

Many will be cooking for their mothers this Sunday. Most of them will be preparing fare that their own mothers could, indeed, prepare much better. Rather than insult your own mother on her special day by presenting her with your second-tier version of her culinary classics, why not side-step the issue and surprise her with something unique?

The last year has seen the advent of the avant-garde pastry. The names suggest that bakers stay up too late posing each other hypothetical questions more often than we suspect: Cronuts, s'morecicles, cragles, chocoflan, duffin, cakclaire. You get the idea.

If you're any sort of baker, or even word-combiner, take two favorite pastries, have a shotgun wedding, and head to Foods For Living for some baking supplies. When your mom sees some Bonuts emerge from the oven (or plastic container), she's sure to be as delighted by the novelty as she is moved by the gesture. Here are some ideas and recipes.

KIVA

I should feel weird about plugging a specific organization in a blog about food, culture, and safety. It says a lot about Kiva's mission and integrity that I feel not weird, but proud to include it. It is, in fact, part of my own Mother's Day gift.

As you know, many a mother across the globe will spend May 11 tilling a tiny plot of land to feed her family, or shutting down her fruit stand to run to a latrine a quarter mile away. I can't think of a more appropriate gift for the generous mothers among us than the gift of generosity itself. Let me explain.

The concept behind Kiva is simple: using Kiva's website, you select an individual to whom you will lend $25. This person usually lives in the third world, and is trying to secure a loan for his/her business or family. The goal of the loan is usually a modest one, such as building a toilet for the home, or buying food for a workhorse. In time, this person pays you back. Now you have your $25 again, and you can withdraw it or lend it again. There is no catch, no downside, and no reason not to just do it. But this isn't a Kiva ad—it's a suggestion for a Mother's Day gift.

Here is a video explaining the process in the most basic terms.
Kiva is not just a "feel good" organization. Kiva is one of the highest-rated charities in the world, and enjoys a reputation for no-nonsense business practices and transparency.

My mom loves that she can help people over and over again with the same initial investment. This process is a perfect reflection of my mother's generosity and love of sharing. It's giving the gift of giving, which is itself a gift... pardon me while I have a hall-of-mirrors freakout.

PTFit

Your mom's back is sore. I mean, probably. I don't mean to assume, but whose back isn't sore? It would be awesome to get your mom a back-massaging android servant for Mother's Day.

I think PTFit is the manufacturer of the droids you're looking for. The company produces the ideal robot companion—one made of wood, that runs on human power, whose only function is to provide massages. These high-tech companions may look like glorified shepherds' crooks, but make no mistake, they're great. A few moments of pulling the rollers over a sore back will make anyone a convert. The massage hooks are, of course, available at Foods For Living, where some staffers affectionately refer to the product as "the boyfriend."

Please, don't tell people you're picking up your mom a new boyfriend from FFL for Mother's Day. 

Enjoy your Mother's Day!